so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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