He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
