I wish I could teleport
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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