she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
