There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
