Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
