Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
