I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My bed smells like the plague
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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