Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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