Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
