I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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