need another drink. this is the easiest way
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
