The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
