Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
