Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
