this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
