I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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