He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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