WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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