Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
