I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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