Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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