One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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