Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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