Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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