Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
