all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I touched a dick in church today
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
