guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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