girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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