I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Randomize
