I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
