Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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