who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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