sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
