I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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