I CAN MOONWALK!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
