Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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