You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
