you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
