If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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