Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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