Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
