i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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