I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
