I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
