this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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