Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Randomize
