i just wanna soil my oats bro
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
