just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
