He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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